Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
