can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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