She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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