She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
