I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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