I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
