It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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