There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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