I want to stick my p in your. b.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
