drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
