Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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