I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
