I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
