Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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