I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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