I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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