I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
