Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
