maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
pop tarts are not kleenex
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
