Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
