Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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