I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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