And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
