OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
