Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
