oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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