Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
