I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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