I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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