The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
