there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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