And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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