Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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