Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
