in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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