But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
