i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
try to milk me bitch
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