It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
