I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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