apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
