that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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