By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
