I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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