she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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