We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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