about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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