he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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