It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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