When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
