party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just found puke in my bra..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
