Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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