I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
